Pools of Logs

Quite some time back, when I was in Form One, my family went on a vacation to Johore. We stayed at the Hyatt Regency, which is a very lovely place. Basically, our everyday schedule was eat, sleep, watch tv and swim. Change that to float as I can't swim for nuts.

Anyway, on one momentous day, as we three kids were waddling about in the pool, we were greeted by something floating. Being kids, we started to assume what the weird floating thing were. My guess? Badly mishappen logs.

Thus we continued playing in the pool, splashing and sheirking away, until the weird logs floated steadyly at us. Let me just say that within the radius of one meter, it was not logs. It was human waste.

Yeap, human waste. Now, not only is that disgusting, but it took the whole idea of swimming into a new arena. We scrambled for safety screeching our parents for help. The logs continued to float around the pool, greeting various vacationers who upon seeing them, rushed to dry ground. Boy the horror and chaos that arosed because of turd. The pool was closed by noon.

My day? It was complete and I didn't want to see the pool again. Whoever thought that the pool is your average toilet, I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY. You took the joy of swimming out of three kids and made them perfected the art of swimming in the bath tub. I hope, one day that you too, would be greeted by floating logs. ONE HUNDERED OF THEM, while you enjoy the leisure of vacationing.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

If there is one thing I have learnt this season of giving, is never to shop the day before Christmas. This is especially a handy tip for Malaysians, as we are a bunch of save-it-for last.

On Christmas Eve, we three siblings rushed to Cold Storage, BSC to get the ingredients in preparation for Christmas dinner. Needless to say, nothing could prepare me for the crowd there. It was as if every human within Bangsar, decided to join in the glory of Christmas, and Cold Storage was packed with people.

What I love about BSC’s Cold Storage is the lack of crowd and this new revelation was not good, being the crowd hater that I am. Thus we braved forward, only to be squashed by every Tom, Dick and Harry all with a turkey each. Okay maybe I am exaggerating, but try queuing up about half-an-hour in the non-halal section for a pound of bacon. Add that with screaming brats running about here and there and you would get the rough picture. Man I felt like going on a rampage with my trolley and hitting every child that was treating Cold Storage like your average Toy‘R’us.

After half an hour of trauma, we emerged unscratched and boy, was I tired. Still, the Christmas dinner the next day made up for the disastrous occasion and I promised myself never again would I shop the night before Chirstmas.

Think the same thing is going to occur for those last minute MyKad makers?

No. 5

Since it is near year-end, I decided to point out five ridiculous/weird things I have seen in 2005.

1. Four postmen, from Pos Malaysia racing, fully fledge in their uniforms and bikes near Dayabumi
2. A blind man with black specs (get this) staring at a really sexy lady, in a skimpy number, walk passed him.
3. A woman breaking up with her boyfriend/fiancé/husband (either one) in Cold Storage BSC. Think that is not weird? Picture her using her mobile to break the news to him, while sobbing and shouting in the vegetable section.
4. Ah Lian stockings. Those wearing them should be burnt alive.
5. Malaysia’s Most “Beautiful” only on 8TV. Need I say more?

Actually, I am just lazy to blog. *Grins*

Zack Zachery

Well, today I was in no mood to go to work. Anyway, once arriving, made a call to Zachery’s* direct line, on matters pertaining to facts and figures. He was not in. Well, I tried his mobile, and since he was not answering, I decided to sms him instead. In the midst of discussion with my colleague, I sent the sms. What happened next was strange. He did not reply. He called me instead. The conversation was not only bizarre, but surreal.

Me: Have you checked your email? I have sent you the figures already
Zachery: Erm. I haven’t check yet. What figures are you talking about?
Me: The one I sent you on Friday?
Zachery: Oh. Ok. Well, I have to check and see first. Where are you calling from?
Me: This is Dee from…
Zachery: Where is your office?
Me: In Desa Sri Hartamas
Zachery: Where is that?
Me: (feeling more and more blur) You mean you don’t know where it is? (speechless) I am bad with directions!

And thus the weird conversation ended with Zachery saying that he would check his mail and call me back. He didn’t call me back. I had to call him and when I did he asked me whether I could call at 2pm. Fine. But what puzzled me was Zachery’s blur attitude, and lack of understanding on the costing.

Came 1.45pm, it suddenly hit me. I didn’t message Zachery. I had messaged Zack, an acquaintance of mine who had no clue what the f*** I was talking about. I checked my phone and yes, that is exactly what happened. No wonder Zack was blur. No wonder he lack understanding. I GOT THE WRONG PERSON!!!Man, when I told this to my colleagues, both bust into laughter. Man, I haven’t laugh like that in ages. What followed was a ring to the real Zachery

Me: Have you checked your email? I have sent you the figures already
Zachery: Yes I have (proceeds to discussed in details with me)

Talk about misdirection!

Perdana New Modifications

Just about last week, my dog mistook the car as a scratchpole. In the wee hours of morning, while me and my sister were watching Emperor’s New Groove, he was busy tearing the paint of our car away. I admit, I did hear my dog barking, but mistook it as his normal scavenger hunt.

However, I was wrong. Still, he stopped when I shouted, “BOBBY!!” and I thought naught about it. Woke up the next day, with my dad telling me that the car paint has somewhat peeled away, thanks to the paws of our lovely dog.

And boy, does the Perdana look bad. I mean bad. Will snap a picture when I have the time of our new Perdana, with wonderful modifications, thanks to Bobby dearest.

Encounter of a Different Kind

Guess what greeted me this morning in the toilet.

A spider.

I would not be exeggarating if I said that it was a freaking huge spider, nearly as big as my palm. What made this experience so wonderful, was that Mr. Stupid Spider had somewhat gotten itself caught in the toilet bowl, and was trying to struggle out. Not only did I found it gross, I somewhat got my wake-up call, without the coffee.

Damn the freak made me walk to the other toilet, just because I was terrified as to what would have happened if it somewhat triumphed and emerge from the toilet bowl. After completing my morning ritual, I sneaked back to the Spider infested toilet and proceeded to flush Mr. Spider down with the tune of "Insy Wincy Spider" in my mind, and gleefully watched as it was sucked into the whirpool. It was gone.

However, my joy was shortlived. It came back, having swum against the torrent to remain in the bowl, that stupid presistant Spider, and thus, I left it alone. After my morning coffee, I came back and to my horror, it had somewhat vanished into the shadows lurking within my toilet. Spiders have small brains with no memory whatsover right?

RIGHT??!

The 'Iron' Lion

It’s been ages since I went to the cinema. Still, I don’t really mind, as most of the movies released do not pique my interest. There are only a few movies that I must see and when Narnia was released just a few days ago, my eyes twitched to see how they would adapt the book to silver screen.

I was truly, truly, disappointed. One of my favorite childhood novel has somewhat been mutilated. My advice? Go see the movie before reading the book.

*Spoilers ahead*

Sadly, what ruined this supposedly good movie was Aslan himself. When Tumnus told Lucy at the end of the show, that Aslan is not a tame lion, I felt like spluttering.



Throughout the movie, Aslan behaved like a tame lion. He even looked like one! In the book, Aslan is suppose to be fearsome, yet gentle. Kind, yet stern. Liam Neelson voicing Aslan so did not help whatsoever, as it made Aslan sound tamer then ever.

*Grrr* and Susan, OMG! She freaking annoyed the hell out of me. Whining and whining away! But then, she does that in the book, so…However, Lucy’s attempt to be cute failed miserably. When she grinned she reminded me of an animal that I will not mention here. Let's not even go into 'manly' Peter.

The savior of the story would be Edmund and the White Witch, both who played their parts well. Kudos. Besides, Tumnus, looked rather cute for a faun, so...*grins*

BTW, why is it that I am reminded of the Oompa-Loompas when I see Ginarrbrik?? This kiddy tale is better left to your imagination as you can do plenty there. Conclusion? I should have gone see Aeon Flux. Dang!

Astro and Ants

Okay, this is going to sound so the 'katak di bawah tempurung' (direct translation: from beneath a shell?, correct translation: redneck) but I finally got ASTRO!!!

YAY!!! This morning, I woke up at 9.30, waiting from Mr. Installer to come. While he was installing the decoder and dish, I was taking care of our beloved dog, Bobby. For those of you who have been to the area that I live, you would realise that it is the Jungleville of Kuala Lumpur, where the roads are narrow, with plenty of trees here and there.

Some of my friends get the heebeejeebees just fretching me home at night as the idea of encounters of the weird kind is not to their liking. Thus, they speed once dropping me off. And I mean speed. However during the day, the area looks pleasant and serene, with birds cheerfully chirping, monkeys annoyingly swinging, and ants wonderfully biting.

Yes, I was taking care of my wonderful dog, beneath our belimbing (starfruit) tree where ants were aplenty. Let's not go into how many mosquitos were there. Me and my sister were thinking various mean thoughts on how to kill them. Thus while Mr. Installer was installing ASTRO, we took out matchsticks and newspaper, and proceed to burn them alive. Yes, the smoke was horrid, but man, the amount of ants we killed. IT WAS AWESOME!!!

I felt as if I just been transported back to kampung (village) and felt rather happy with myself. By the time we were done, the decoder was set up and we were happily viewing the channels. Not to mention, rather contented people, who had just accomplished a wonderful mission in life.

Grouchiness on the prowl

While I am typing this, I am feeling very grouchy and dissatisfied at the same time.

I haven’t been feeling well past these few days and though I would so love to take mc, I can’t as that would leave my colleague solo in the office. The other colleagues of mine are on leave at the moment.

Come lunch break I decided to go out and get a wonderful turkey sandwich. Upon getting directions from my colleague, I headed for the bakery.

In the hot sun.

I hate walking. Especially in the sweltering heat. Upon arriving at the bakery, I bought the damn sandwich together with some cupcakes. One pack has six cupcakes with wonderful iced toppings on top. It reminds me of the cupcakes from England. Bought them for Becca. She better appreciate it. Those damn cupcakes cost a whooping RM7.20. Did I mention the word minicupcakes?

Anyway, I came back and my colleague told me I went to the wrong bakery. If that was not enough, the freaking sandwich was wet. Yes, I had soggy turkey ham sandwich. If that is not enough, I am still freaking hungry. Tell me, how am I suppose to be cheery when I am sick, tired, and hungry at the same time?

My Squirrel Story

Man there is a long list of people I have been meaning to catch up with but somewhat with the little free time I have, I sleep. Anyway, before I start ranting about my sad sad life, I will steer clear.

This morning I open my mailbox to find an email by Ayesha entitled “Squirrel Story”. That piqued my interested and I open the mail to find:-

U promised the story of the squirrel overdosed by kellogs frosties...where is it??? :p

love Aysh

Since she is so damn interested (that nosy parker) about the tale of my squirrel, here is the “Squirrel Story”, all dedicated to you.

When I was in form five, I had a whole loads of pets. The list is as below:-

- One cat (Named Wildy)

- Four kittens (Name Manja and Sayang, the other two traitors migrated)

- A dog (Bobby)

- A rabbit (Cleo)

- And, last but not least, a squirrel (it’s nameless as we didn’t managed to conjure a name for it)

Thus, my zoo was complete. Anyway, back to the “Squirrel Story”. My family first encountered the squirrel when it somewhat got into the house. My dad, caught it and caged it, where it enjoyed the life of a maharaja eating and tasting the fine easy life. That was until it escaped.

However, since it has somewhat been tamed and pampered in this zoo of mine, it grew lazy to gathered its own food and came back about two days after its escapee. This time, it was my brother which caught (actually, bribed) it with a watermelon, that it gobbled up delightedly.

Now, for your information, a squirrel basically eats and eats and eats. The food is stored up, just in case they somewhat do not manage to get food in the jungle; they have, what we call, emergency supply.

Thus, when we feed it, it does not stop eating because it relies on its instinct. So that day, when the squirrel came back, I was so delighted I decided to treat it Kellogs Frosties. Needless to say, it ate and ate and ate, that stupid greedy bugger.

Come the next morning we found it dead from sugar overdose. I am dead serious. Try to imagine the guilt I felt when I realized that I somewhat murdered the creature with Kellogs.

That my friends, is my “Squirrel Story”.

NEXT UP: Tale of an Iguana and a Dog.

TV3 Synergy

Man, this week has been such a busy week!

I hardly had time for myself starting Wednesday onwards due as we were involved in the TV3 Synergy at Berjaya Times Hotel. And boy, was it hectic!!

Basically, it was a megaboom launch of the merger of TV3, 8TV, NTV7 and Channel 9 under one roof - Media Prima. There were various celebrities such as Jac, Nita, Daniel, Ella, Misha Omar and etc. Our job however was to provide the cute little ballerinas you see below.

Cute ain't they?

What was nice about the event was that I saw old friends from TV3 and it was a reunion of one kind. *Sigh* I miss TV3 and the people there. Would love to blog more, but I think I shall not as I am already freaking tired and have my driving class later on this evening. Let's not go into that shall we?